The process that followed one he was happy to leave to his own representative and one that left him a sight less wealthy when it was over. A process, being the man of honour he was, he considered only just and reached through a mix of reason and guilt his new id?e fixe did not share. The unlikely young girl supplanting his beautiful former wife was unhappy to see his/her wealth diminished in such a fashion and was not shy about letting him know. The more he seemed to love her, in fact, the more displeasure did she feel free to show him - recognising his need for her was based on pure lust and wishing to punish him for not finding her worthy of the purer sentiment she knew he still extended to the wife and family back in the country he continued to regard as home. Before long, his life as it had been –a good life, a dignified life- was gone. No more than a memory only self-mutilation; albeit of a minor kind; could keep at bay and prevent the almost physical pain he felt in his breast. Every muscle in my body tensed up in nervousness and my mind were working at its top speed trying to keep myself calm. I tried to speak but found out that it was too dry. I grabbed the wine glass with my right hand and emptied it. I realised that she was probably as nervous as me, so I gathered my courage and said, "What exactly do you mean by that?"Jessica took a deep breath before she answered, "I want you to order me to have sex with you."By the way she formulated that request, I had a pretty good idea of what she was thinking. I decided that the best thing to do was to tell her exactly how I felt. I gathered my courage once again and tried to hide my aroused state as much as possible, "Jessica, I have absolutely no experience with this and... and I don't think I 'm ready yet. The closest thing I ever got to having sex is when you kissed me a while ago or when Sandra visited me in the shower this morning. Heck, I had not even seen a nude woman before you showed up yesterday.
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